Whether it be success in business, in blogging, in relationships, or just life in general, it’s easy enough to find yourself wrapped up in a world of negativity.
Say hello to the Queen of Negativity over here.
Not proud of it, but very true.
When I go into a downward spiral, I go hard to the point where it’s hard to get back up again.
That’s what happened when I fell out of love with blogging and social media. I started focusing on all the negative aspects of it to the point where I forgot about why I love blogging, writing, and business in the first place.
And honestly, as cliche as it sounds, when you forget your “why,” or don’t even establish it in the first place, it’s a hell of a lot more challenging to stay the course.
So today I’m not really writing this post with SEO or anything like that in mind. Instead I’m just writing it because these are things that have been on my mind, and I think identifying a lot of my negativity is helping me to come out on the other side of blogging, where I actually enjoy it again.
Here are the five negative beliefs that could be sabotaging your success:
1) If you don’t believe x, y, and z, you can’t obtain a, b, and c
Okay, this might sound a little vague, but hear me out on this.
Something that I’ve started to realize in myself is that I look to experts for advice, and then take their advice to heart. And yes, sometimes this is good. I think I should be looking to experts for help, but one of the things that I know I forget, and I think a lot of other people forget as well, is that experts are just people.
Sure, they have more experience than you, and yes, there are plenty of times where they will be right.
But just as much as they’re right, doesn’t take away from the fact that sometimes they can be wrong.
Maybe not wrong for them, but wrong for you.
Even when I was reading the book On Writing by Stephen King, every time he mentioned something that “bad” writers do, I would immediately get this little voice in my head that said, “I do that. That means I must be a bad writer.”
Which is insane!
Instead of trying to correct the behaviour, or recognize that I’m allowed to have a different style of writing, I would automatically just jump to, well, if this expert says I’m doing something that is bad then it must be true.
Trust your own intuition. Do things your own way, and then determine for yourself whether they’re wrong or not. Who knows, maybe what is “wrong” for one person might actually be the secret formula for you.
2) You have to be obsessed in order to have success
In the online business world, there’s a lot pressure out there to hustle.
Even in the world of writing, there’s an expectation that if you’re not writing 24/7, then you don’t really love it.
And ‘ya know what?
I would like to call bullshit on both those statements. Sure, I think obsession can definitely lead to success. If you’re working hard and smart on something 24/7, of course eventually that thing will start to show results for you.
But you know what it can also lead to? Neglecting all the other important aspects of your life, and honestly, I’m not really into that.
I think goals are great, but I’ve stopped putting that kind of pressure on myself. I’ve stopped sharing my income with people, and I’ve (tried) to stop worrying about what other people think about my career.
Yes, you can be obsessed, but you can also find balance, and slowly grow something instead of becoming obsessed and demanding it all at once.
I’m learning to try and be okay with a slow process instead of this wild, crazy whirlwind of obsession. Sure, it doesn’t give me as much immediate gratification, but it also means I’m not constantly sitting on my laptop obsessing over things like page views and follower counts, which really, in the grand scheme of things, don’t mean that much in my life.
Don’t just get obsessed with goals and success for the sake of it. Actually know why you want to do something, and let it grow slowly and steady. Trust me, it’s much more manageable that way.
3) You have to have it all figured out
One of the biggest reasons I think I stopped blogging was because I started to get overwhelmed with the idea of “figuring it out.”
I didn’t have this big underlying purpose for why I wanted to blog, and so, stopping was easy.
And, while I definitely think you need to have a “why” in order to want to continue with anything you’re working on, I also think figuring out that why can take a really long time.
I’ve been working on this particular blog for probably a year and a half now, and have told myself so many times that I’ve figured out why I wanted to do it, only to discover that a month later, I was over that idea.
And that’s okay. It’s okay that I stopped blogging. It’s okay that I got off social media and called it quits for a bit.
I’ve realized, more than anything, I just like writing and connecting with people. I stopped worrying about filling my posts with images. I stopped stressing about constantly filling my Tailwind queue. I stopped obsessively looking for that perfect way to monetize my blog.
Talk to anyone who has had success, and I guarantee you’ll discover that they’ve gone through plenty of different projects and phases before they landed on what they’re currently doing.
Be okay with changing things up, and don’t worry so much about “having it all figured out.” Just do more of what you like to do, and the rest will come with time. Plain and simple.
4) If you’re not working on something that makes you money, you’re wasting time
Oh boy, this is one that I’m still really struggling with, but I think it’s true (note: everything I’m saying here is just based on my own experiences, and what I think. Recognize that you’re allowed to have your own thoughts, and don’t necessarily have to agree with me).
Currently a good portion of my time is going towards a project that is making me $0, and ultimately could end up making me $0 in the long run.
So why am I putting time into it, you might be wondering?
Well, largely because after I’ve spent a couple hours working on this project, I always feel so good after. Every single time. Without fail.
Doesn’t mean I always want to work on this project, but it does mean whenever I get going on it, it makes all my other work so much more enjoyable because I’ve started my day off by doing something that I love to do.
Trust me, I get it. Time is precious, and we don’t all have the time to work on things that we do just for the fun of it. But, at the same time, I think when we don’t work on those things that just automatically make us feel good, we’re missing out on something really important in life.
Because honestly, if you’re just going through the motions everyday, trying to knock out more projects, and make more money, I really don’t think you’re doing yourself any favors. I think you’re just contributing to your own misery.
Make a list of a handful of things that make you feel good, and work hard to incorporate more of those things into your life. I did this last night, and already just doing small things like working out and having a good breakfast in the morning, the rest of my day has been going so much better.
Don’t overcomplicate it. You have the power to do more of what you love. Don’t forget that. (reminding myself of that too!)
5) Consuming other people’s content is hurting you
I think there’s currently a lot of negative stigma surrounding consuming more than you create.
And I completely agree that this can be really bad.
When you start comparing yourself to everyone else, and listening to everyone’s stuff (blog posts, podcasts, Youtube videos, etc.), you can start to resent that content. I know I’ve been there.
I hate to admit this, but I’ve read Instagram posts before, and thought, “wow, this is stupid.”
I’m the kind of person who gets really negative when I don’t agree with someone, or I see them saying something that I think is silly. (just being honest here)
But you know what?
Who cares?
Who cares if I think what that person is saying is silly? Clearly, then, that post wasn’t for me.
We’re so often told not to consume other people’s content so that we can more strongly focus on our own, but you know what I think really successful people are able to do?
I think they’re able to consume any and all content, and then decide what is for them, and what is not, without judgement. They have enough confidence in their own content that they don’t even go down the rabbit hole of judgement or negative feelings, and instead they just let that content brush over them, without thought.
Moral of the story: don’t consume content just for the sake of consuming content, but also don’t judge other people’s content because it doesn’t align with yours.
Honestly, I think the more content you consume, the better. The same way writers should always be reading a ton of different books. This way you can decide for yourself what is good and what is bad, while still recognizing that different things are for different people.
Don’t be afraid of content. Just be confident in your own.
—
Phew, that all came out so easily because these are things that I’ve been struggling with for quite a while now.
Actually I still struggle quite a bit with all of them, but recognizing they’re there, I think is probably the first step to overcoming them.
And, in all honesty, these are probably issues that successful people deal with for a lifetime. They’re beliefs that will likely get less strong, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the true key to success is recognizing the lifelong journey of crushing your negative thoughts and replacing them with positives ones.
And I’m all about this. Who’s with me?!
Let me know in the comments below if you’ve also had any of these negative thoughts, and how you overcame them. Would love to hear from you!
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