It’s only Day 2 of my Daily Blogging Challenge (read Day 1 here), and already I find myself staring at a blank screen, desperately searching through my brain, waiting for that little hint of inspiration to hit…
*takes sip of coffee*
Maybe if I go read other people’s writing that will help?
Nope, nope, definitely not. I think that just made things worse…
Perhaps staring up at the sky and hoping something just magically falls into my head will do the trick?
I don’t have to tell you how that strategy played out.
Here’s the thing about inspiration: it’s not a switch that you can just turn on and off. Sometimes it’s there, and, well, sometimes it’s not. Or, in my case, sometimes it’s totally turned off, dried up, and sitting on a beach in Mexico, margarita in hand, laughing at me desperately trying to find it. Yeah, apparently my inspiration is into margaritas. Go figure.
All jokes aside, though, that anxiety I initially felt as I stared at this blank screen, already questioning if I could follow through on my Daily Blogging Challenge, had me wanting to give up, crawl back into bed, and tell myself that there were better uses of my time than trying to write a blog post that possibly nobody would even read…
Is my will to follow through on something really that weak?
Well, clearly not, because eventually I was able to cut through the voices in my head and just start writing, but the fact that I even went to that place so quickly and so easily is slightly disconcerting.
Let’s imagine for a ‘sec that in that moment of dried up inspiration, I did decide to call it quits on this little challenge.
I closed WordPress, pulled out my bullet journal, checked what client work I had on the agenda for the day, and got to work on my client’s next project.
On paper, this doesn’t sound so bad.
I’m still writing. I’m definitely working. And, even better, I’ll get directly paid for that piece of work.
Gold stars for Andrea, right?
Well sure. If we’re just measuring those little stars based on getting shit done, making money, and productivity, then yeah, I’m a real winner.
But here’s what I’m not doing (and I think this is pretty major, and I know it’s something I struggle with):
I’m not keeping a commitment to myself.
I’m a world-class pro at making excuses for myself. Like seriously, if this was an Olympic sport, I’d win gold.
I deserve that cupcake because I dealt with a difficult client. I need this nap because I woke up early. I can’t go for a walk because the sun already went down. I’m going to skip the gym because my right big toe hurts ever so slightly and I can’t risk loosing my big toe!
An exaggeration, of course, but I think you get the picture: breaking commitments to myself has become pretty easy to do when there’s always a good excuse on the tip of my tongue that feels justifiable.
Do you do this?
Pretty certain, unless you’re a master of some Tony Robbins magic, or you’re legit Wonder Woman, you’ve had this moment where you’ve justified breaking a commitment to yourself, even though deep down you probably knew you were selling yourself short.
How many times do you have to do this before you completely start to mistrust yourself?
I couldn’t tell ‘ya the exact number, but I can tell you that after 28 years of breaking a good handful of commitments to myself, I’m definitely at a point where my trust in myself is pretty damn low.
I am the worst decision maker (possibly ever). I’m never certain about my own competence. And I pretty much always need a third-party person justifying my choices.
Eek.
That does not sound good, and I know that.
That’s why I’m so dedicated to completing this Daily Blogging Challenge for the next 30 days.
I want to prove to myself that I can follow through on a commitment to myself, and I am capable of sticking with something on a daily basis (even on the hard days).
And so, all that being said, I want to invite you to embark on your own 30 day challenge. It certainly doesn’t have to be a writing challenge, but it should be something that’s equal parts difficult, but still manageable.
Trust me, forcing myself to blog everyday (even on the weekends when I generally avoid my laptop like the plague) is no easy task, but I also know it’s totally doable.
Maybe just do something simple, like giving up sugary drinks for 30 days?
Or maybe add something into your life, like going for a 30 minute walk everyday, rain or shine?
Even just committing yourself to washing your face every night could be a 30 day challenge for some.
There are plenty of ideas for 30 day challenges available to you, but the main thing to keep in mind is you have to want to complete the challenge, like really want to.
That doesn’t mean you don’t recognize that it’s going to be hard. It simply means that you’re motivated and excited to reach your goal. If you don’t have that, don’t even attempt the challenge. You don’t need another broken commitment to yourself under your belt, depleting your self-confidence even further (this is a friendly reminder to you, but also to myself).
So, who’s with me? Do you want to increase your self confidence? Maybe you need a challenge to give you a kick in the pants to accomplish something? Or perhaps you’re feeling a little stuck in life and just need something to keep you focused.
Whatever the case, I hope this post inspired you to challenge yourself.
Like I said, it doesn’t have to be some huge, crazy, elaborate challenge. Oftentimes, it’s those little baby steps in life that that end up making the biggest impact.
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